


This Year's Banquet (Try to Top This)

by Bowandtie



Series: Bad decisions leads to [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Phicit and Christophe are a dangerous combination, The return of the pole, Yurio vs the world, victuuri is in the background
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 09:06:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8973481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bowandtie/pseuds/Bowandtie
Summary: This year, Victor and Yuuri are absent, Phicit is trying to make a name of himself, Yurio feels the world is really unfair, and Chris is a good conspirator.JJ is left with a new resolution for new year.





	

Honestly, no one is surprised when Yuuri and Victor decided to skip the banquet and retreated to their room almost immediately after their exhibition. A part of Phicit's brain feels happy for his friend while another part can't help but disappointed for losing a potentially winning instagram photos. 

(Phicit checked, #viktuuri is currently trending on first place in almost every social media outlet, it's glorious.)

"They're porking right now, right?" the JJ guy says with a blissful obliviousness. His fiancé raised her perfect eyebrow, exasperated and fond at once.

Somewhere behind them Plisetsky made a horrific retching sound. 

"Aww.." Christophe sighs, twirling champagne glass on one hand and looks utterly dejected. "What should i do with my pole now?" Everyone in nearby vicinity shoots a curious glance, the older ones swished their head in record breaking speed while glaring at their group.

His boyfriend rolled his eyes hard. "Is that what i'm carrying in this bag?" He asked. Christophe just winks and darts a peck on his cheek with a giggle.

"Well." Phicit says with a conspiratorial tone. "We still can use it if you want." Who is he to disappoint his peers, right? Phicit is first and foremost a showman after all.

"Oho!" Christophe grins are blinding. "You think you can top Yuuri's?" 

Phicit lets out his most mischievous grin. "Oh yeah." He says triumphantly. "Who did you think dragged Yuuri into pole dancing class?" the untold story involves a promo groupon ticket, a dare, and a wild bachelorette party hosted by a rinkmate, but that's a story for another time.

JJ lets out a low whistle. Plisetsky ( who magically appears at the nearby table) made a horrified face and spluttering something in Russian.

"I won the gold." The kid growls. His face contorted into an impressive scowl while he rumpled the tablecloth in his fist. "Should i have a say in this?"

"Scared?" JJ mocks him with a loopy grin, probably not as sober as Phicit thought he was. 

The kid lets out an animalistic gurgle, and while JJ may not be in his sharpest mind, his preservation instinct apparently still works perfectly as he scurried away behind his fiancé.

"It might be a good practice." Lilia Baranovskaya suddenly appears from behind them. ( what's with the Russians and their stealthy approach?!)

 

"No." Plisetsky's rage melts into horror. "No, no. Don't do this to me, hag."

"It's good to train your core." She replies coolly. Her eyes scanned the group a bit too rapidly despite her composed face and demeanor.

 _Is she also drunk?_ Phicit thinks. Noting the red on the tips of her ear. _Yeepp._

"You should try as well, babe." JJ's girlfriend suddenly joins. "You should do that in our wedding." Her eyes are bright and when her eyes and Christophe's meet her smiles got wider. JJ gaped comically and downed the whole glass of wine in resignation while Plisetsky screaming curses and obscenity to everyone who's willing to hear. 

Christophe unpacked his boyfriend's baggage with astounding speed and suddenly a sturdy, shiny pole stands at the center of the room. Phicit took no time to snap few photos and snapchat for good measure as well. 

"Well." Christophe looks proud and amused. "Let's make the lovebirds regret not coming here tonight." His shirts already thrown somewhere, leaving his boyfriend to collect them from someone's head. 

Otabek Altin tentatively approaches them, face still stony but his eyes looks curious. Plisetsky glares at him like he's being betrayed. 

" _Et tu?_ " He hissed.

Otabek shrugged, looking a bit guilty. "It's my first grand prix banquet."

 _This could be fun._ Phicit thinks as he throws his pants somewhere to the crowds.

........

Yuuri wake up in the morning feeling both tired and sated. His back is warm and there's a hand trapping his body. He doesn't want to wake up, ever.

Unfortunately his phone (and Viktor's) keep pinging wildly and being a light sleeper doesn't really help his cause. 

"Go back to sleep." Viktor's voice is rougher in the morning as he tighten his grip to Yuuri's waist.

"I'll just.." Yuuri wriggles as he reaches for his phone "just a second."

His first notifications make his eyes shoots open as he jumped out of bed with a yelp. Viktor groggily mumbles something in Russian before wraps himself again into the blankets and dozed off. 

Yuuri stared at his phone with gaping mouth and scrolled through the messages, tags and posts, trying to reconcile what he saw with his common sense.

He failed.

\-----

From: Phicit Chulanont  
Sub: we had to call ambulance.. And the firefighter

[image]

Soo...

I swear I wasn't the one who bring the ductape or having the idea to taping him to the pole.

His parents aren't happy.

Oops?  
\-----

From: Yuri Plisetsky  
Sub: it's all your fault.

[image] [image]  
[image] [image]

Die. 

Seriously it's all your fault. And the geezer.

Die.

P.S: he's the one who came out with the idea of taping himself to the pole since he kept sliding down like a slug. I didn't goad him. 

\------

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for my english.
> 
> I feel like I HAVE to write what i want to happen at this year's banquet. I also want Yurio realize he cannot escape the Katsudon Effect from last year.
> 
> What happened is:  
> 1\. They all take turns and try to use the pole. (Yes even Otabek, who just climbs them like a tree)  
> 2\. JJ went last and keep slipping down, he was pretty drunk.  
> 3\. He was frustrated and someone threw a ductape (where did they get that?!)  
> 4\. He came up with briliant idea to tape his legs into the pole.  
> 5\. Somehow no one questions that.  
> 6\. Catasthrope.


End file.
